Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
