it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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