I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
