I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
