Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
