If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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