my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
