dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
