Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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