I puked a lego.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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