It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
