i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
