We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
