we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
