Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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