He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
