I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
