your room smells of hookers.
And success
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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