All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize