Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it glows. i had to have it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
