Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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