Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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