would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
