I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
