So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
