what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
