you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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