I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
