Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
