my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize