You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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