sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
