THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
