I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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