I hope mine doesn't look like that
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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