; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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