4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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