question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
