wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
