...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
