New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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