omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
