I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
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How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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