We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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