Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
