I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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