are you still at the devil's house?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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