it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
