sarcasm needs its own font
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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