hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
