So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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