how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
