return my video game
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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