thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
