He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize