I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
