Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
