so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
