maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
