take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
