I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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