Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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