sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
