Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
