do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Randomize
