I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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