i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
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i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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