I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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