if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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