She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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