you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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