From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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