seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
